Archive for February, 2013

4.6.1

“I wouldn’t touch her if I were you.” Rafe growls appearing as if out of nowhere. His hand grips my arm and pulls me away from the vampire with a rough tug. “Back off or else.” He threatens staunching up to him. The daze that had left me calm, quickly wears off as I’m ripped away. Leaving me feeling breathless and fearful. For Rafe, and myself.

“Ahh, the human boy.” Vladimir chuckles ignoring the tension in the air. He eyes him for a moment. Assessing him quickly. “You do have me curious you do. Although… You do not seem the smartest tool in the box, seeing as I am a vampire and I should have no qualms about playing out your empty little threats.”

4.6.2

“It’s not an empty threat vampire.” Rafe grits his teeth in anger standing in front of me. Both of them hold their eye contact with each other, both daring not to blink. The tension in the air weighs down on us all. It’s heavy and noticeable from a mile away. We have to leave, and get far, far away from here, and this thing.

“Rafe, lets just go. Forget about it-“

“I’d listen to her, boy. Could be good for your health.” He rolls his eyes at him, with a smirk. The vampire breathes in deeply, smelling the world around him before exhaling with a glint in his eyes. “After all, she’s unmarked as far as I can tell.” As the words drip out of his mouth, his eyes slowly fall up and down my body with a hint of desire. The feeling makes my chest tighten and the hairs on my arm stand on end.

“Don’t you dare even thin-“

4.6.3

“Is everything alright over here?” An older man sternly walks over. As the man speaks, Rafe drops his head down like a scolded dog and zips his lips. “Vladimir?”

“I’m a big boy, I’ll live.” He grins cheekily, looking at me from the corner of his eye. When he notices that I’ve spotted him, he winks before turning his attention back to the older man. “Although, a human is an… Interesting choice to say the least. I’m not sure I quite understand your logic old man. Can we call this a ‘senior moment’?” His hand is raised as he makes an exaggerated hand movement to imply quotation marks.

“Brains are hard to find in the young ones.” The stranger laughs a deep, throaty laugh. His face scrunching up slightly before composing himself again. “He’s a decent fighter though. Ballsy as hell as you can imagine. Not afraid of a good beating, even when the odds are stacked against him. Which you know.”

4.6.4

“Common sense is lacking these days. But… Lucky for you, I’m lacking in that too. Tell me more. Human’s are intriguing in the cage, especially when they can handle themselves. Quite the commodity these days. Although I’m not here for the gambling. I can do that anywhere.” The vampire notes, talking about Rafe as though he’s not here. And he allows it, not saying a word.

“Come, let us drink then, and talk business.” He motions his head in farewell to Rafe and his hand towards the door to the bar. Vladimir smiles again at us both, one side of his face curling up more than the other, once again revealing his fangs. “Maybe instead of trying to explain, we can show you. A fight?”

“I’m not giving you all my money again, old man.” Vladimir jokes as he walks away slowly.

“Then maybe you should take my word for it already-“

4.6.5

“Rafe.” I growl under my breath the second both their back are turned. “What is going on? I know you’re in trouble, so don’t bother lying to me. It stops now. Tell me.” This time I don’t give him an option. A vampire, in Blackwater. They don’t exist here, or at least they shouldn’t. But this one was not only here, but he was connected to Rafe in some ungodly way.

“So you can do what?” Rafe growls, turning his frustrations against me. “Tell me how disappointed you are in me? Save the lecture, sis.”

“The lecture! That’s what you’re worried about?” I screech at him, feeling enraged. “There’s a vampire here, collecting people, and he wants to watch you fight. And you’re worried about a stupid lecture? You could die. What about your life? You’re all I have left Rafe, and you seem to think it’s okay risking your life like this. You have no idea.”

“You think I’m that dumb? I wouldn’t fight if I didn’t think I could win. And guess what? I am. I’m winning.” He scoffs, trying to prove a point. Except the only point it proved was his arrogance, and cockiness. He wasn’t as good as he thought, there only had to be one time, one tiny slip up, and that was it. “Not that you would even care.”

“Don’t turn this on me-“

4.6.6

“I’m sorry that we all can’t be as perfect as you, Viv.” He spits out angrily, pointing his finger out accusingly. Light bruising and grazes still covering some of the fingers on his hand. I take a small step back on reflex, pouting sadly.

“I never said-“

“You didn’t have to.” Rafe glares at me, clenching his jaw tightly. “I can see the pity in your eyes and that’s enough. It’s obvious, I’m not as good as you. Whatever. We can’t all be in love with a fucking werewolf who can’t even control himself around a baby deer on the full bloody moon. I’m sure he’s just waiting for you to make the first move. Or maybe he’s just not that into you.” Whatever was going on up there, wasn’t good. There was venom in his words, he wants to make me hurt.

“I’m sorry!” I whine, feeling the tears pricking at my eyes. Don’t cry. Not in front of him. “I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much. But I’m sorry.”

“Don’t bother.” He shakes his head, rolling his eyes at me.

4.6.7

“Rafe, please… I’m just worried about you.” Don’t cry. Be brave. I repeat over and over again in my head. Don’t give in this time. Except he’s stubborn like a bull and pig headed. It was like trying to argue logic with someone who didn’t speak English. It was no use, not when he didn’t want to hear it and had already made up his mind. ‘Talk to me?”

“About what? How I’m such a screw up? I don’t need rescuing, okay Viv.” This time he says it a little more calmly. Almost pleading with me to listen. “I’m a fighter, I like this. I’m not some little kid who can’t make up his mind, or some angsty teen. I want this. No one’s forcing me, I’m not rebelling. This is who I am.”

“No, Rafe, it’s a death wish.” I whisper, it was my turn to shake my head. It wasn’t a game he could play forever, it was life or death out there. Nothing would change my mind on that fact.

“Whatever. When they call, I’m fighting. And there ain’t a thing you can do about that.” Rafe storms off again. It was like I couldn’t talk to him anymore. We were always close, but these days, everything usually ended in a fight. In him running off, and silence proceeding it again. Then… Repeat. He was my brother yet I couldn’t talk to him. Not anymore. Not for a long time.

4.6.8

I enter the small bar, ignoring the vampire in the corner of the room and sit at the bar. At this point, I didn’t even care. All I want is to forget about Rafe for a little while. Except in a town this small, it was often hard. And my mind is like a prison. I can’t escape it. I play the scenario on repeat, occasionally sipping on a glass of water. Was there something I should have done differently? Said or shouldn’t of?

I place the cup onto the bench, and run my finger along the top. Tracing circles around it aimlessly. Rafe had stood up for me. It showed he still cared. Didn’t it. I sigh loudly, and push the glass away. I really did want to know why they wanted Rafe. And who that vampire was. And that was stupid. He was a vampire. A cruel, mean, killing machine. Just like the ones on TV, he had probably killed people before. No doubt he had.

I chuckle pitifully to myself as I hear footsteps behind me.

4.6.9

“I’m sorry. About earlier, you’ll forgive me, won’t you love?” The vampire says softly to me as I turn around in the bar seat to face him. “I did not mean to cause such tension between you and your red headed friend.” I place a hand on my hip as the other one runs nervously down my leg.

“Why would you care?” I scowl at him a moment, thinking him to be playing some kind of game. Vladimir smiles at me, flashing a toothy grin again.

“I don’t. But I can see that you’re affected by it. So I must take responsibility for it.” He takes the bar seat next to mine still smiling. The more I look at him, the more calm I feel. Almost to the point of serene. His blue eyes twinkle back at mine. “Do you want a drink? And I don’t mean water?”

“I, uhh-“

“Bar wench, can I have two of your finest wines.” Vladimir hails the barmaid, I expect her to turn him down. But she complies without a protest. “He’s an idiot, you know.”

4.6.10

“Who’s an idiot.” I reply, not touching my drink. Instead I frown into it, looking at my reflection on the top of the liquid bubble beneath me. I didn’t fear the man, though I know I should. I didn’t trust him completely either. He was a vampire and a crook. A procurer, the word made me sick.

“Whoever was dumb enough to upset you.” He shrugs, sipping on the wine contently.

“So, you then?” I reply, looking at him behind my hair.

“Yeah, I’m an idiot. I can’t contest that.” A quiet chuckle passes his lips, as he turns to face me again. “He’s going to fight, you can’t stop him. And you have to know this, without a doubt, I’m going to ask to see him fight, and he’s gonna say yes.”

‘But why?” I ask, feeling rather small. This vampire, if anything, was honest. Or at least it seems that way. He says what he thinks, when he thinks it. Maybe he could clear up some things before he did anything. I just needed answers, although I never though I’d get them from a vampire.

4.6.11

“It’s a good business decision. Pure and simple.” He puts his glass down and eyes me somewhat amused. “Don’t look so grim. There’s a war going on right now, and I’m just playing the part of a military enlister. Like I said earlier, not all of us have the option of choice. I mean, I’m like fighting for human- Er, vampire rights or something like that.”

“Who do you work for? I’m sure both sides of it are at fault, and both have plenty to own up to-“

“Oh they do. Don’t get me wrong, I know I chose the right side when I chose Azazel. But it’s war, and we’ve all done things we’re not proud of.” Vladimir explains sincerely. It was the most honestly anyone had shown me upfront. “I know my team has a lot to make up for, but, mistakes get made, things get blown out of proportion, and things seem like a good idea at first. One thing you have to understand is, my team has done wrong, but the other side fights dirty.”

“Wow, you’re honest.” I mumble under my breath as I listen to him speak.

“I have enough to atone for being a vampire, I don’t need to add lying to my list of sins and atrocities.” He smiles sarcastically with a wink.

4.6.12

Vladimir leans in closer, running his hand underneath my chin. As he does so, I feel myself becoming weak. I felt entirely serene and calm around him. “I’m sorry, my dear, but I’m going to see him fight. It would be a foolish business decision if I didn’t. And I just can’t do that. I just wanted you to know.”

“Are you going to take him away?” I mumble. I didn’t care how bad things got between us, if Rafe wasn’t going to use his head, then I had to be the one to watch out for him.

“You make it sound like if he wins I’m going to steal him away in the night, and hold him for ransom. Darling that’s not how it works.” His eyes narrow in on my as his hand slowly runs down my throat. “It’s all a matter of choice. Do you, or don’t you. I’m not a total monster, only on Tuesdays.”

“And if he says yes? Or doesn’t even make it out of the ring?” My lower lip quivers, and my heart speeds up. His nail slowly, and lightly traces along my jugular, all the way down.

“Tomorrow night, come down, watch, please. I can’t say for sure whether he’ll win or not, for I do not know. Or whether he’ll say yes. But there’s no use worrying about it until then. You’ll come won’t you?”

*

I don’t know what possessed me to go that night. Maybe it was the worry and anticipation about what would happen to Rafe. Maybe I just didn’t want him to be alone with the vampire. Or maybe I wanted to try and understand the allure of such a barbaric sport. But whichever it was, I was there. I had gone. And I was already regretting it.

I take my seat next to Vladimir, who sits in the middle beside the old man from yesterday. The three of us face a steal cage awaiting the fight. It was just us three, the rest of the room was empty. Three sides of the cage were surrounded by an arena, the brick wall closing in the room. On the other side of us was another room, where the fighters were kept in cages awaiting their turn.

4.6.13

A giant shiver runs down my spine as Rafe enters the cage followed by a Lycan. I can’t help but notice it’s sharp teeth and claws, ready to rip him apart like he was nothing more than a ragdoll.

“Who’s the other one?” Vladimir asks, intently watching the happenings inside the ring, with peaked interest. “Do I know of him, or is he just death fodder?”

“His name’s Ryan, he’s nineteen years old.” The old man replies also heavily distract as they both circle each other. “Found him a few years back wondering. Came in with Angelique, of course. He was hesitant at first, especially with the V. But he’s one of my best fighters now. Loyal as a dog, but as dumb as one too. His defence lacks, it’s all attack.”

“Easy to take down.” Vladimir turns to me, nodding his head, before turning back as the onslaught starts.

4.6.14

Ryan as he is called, tackles into Rafe. Lifting him high into the air, and crashing him hard below on the concrete. The sound is horrific. A loud thump, and groan, as Rafe tries to regain control in the match. But he’s hurt. His back has already turned red, and swollen from the fall. The Lycan growls down over him, snapping the air in front of his face in a show of power and arrogance. My breath is in my throat as I move forward from my seat to get a better look.

It tightens it’s grip on his back, and lifts him back high into the sky, before crashing him into the fence. The second Rafe hits the ground he tries to move to a more defensive position. But the beast is to quick for him, and in a lightning quick move, is on top of him.

I cover my eyes in a vain attempt to shield myself from witnessing the attack. But whether or not I see isn’t the problem. The sounds carry and echo throughout the room loudly. Growling, and snapping, and body hits. Rafe please be okay… Please, I think desperately, still trying to block out the events inside the cage.

“I thought that you said he was good?” Vladimir says apathetically. Confirming my fears. Hot tears streaming down the sides of my face, as I bite down into my lip. Please, Rafe, just make it out okay.

“He is, his early game is atrocious though. They’ve never fought, he’s merely testing the waters right now.” The old man chuckles loudly and quite confidently. “Remember, I bet money on this kid, good money.”

4.6.15

All go silent for a few minutes, slowly I open my eyes to the sound of another struggle. Rafe is kneeling over the wolf’s body, as he launches his attack. Pinning him to the ground, one hit after the other. Again and again. He’s vicious, his moves are deadly accurate and hit exactly where it’s supposed to hurt. Pin point accuracy. I don’t know how he managed to turn the bloody, and painful match into his favour but he had.

The wolf whimpers rolling onto its side and curling up in a tight little ball. Rafe continues his onslaught, ignoring its cries of pain. “Damn it, old man.” Vladimir laughs loudly, with a large smile. “How much do I owe you? Cash or cheque, Richie boy?”

“Cash, that way I can roll in your money afterwards.” He slaps his knee with a cocky chuckle. I try to drown out their sounds and focus on Rafe. “Enough boy! It’s over. Hah, Vlad, shall we discuss payments.”‘

4.6.16

“Rich, you got it right this time. I’ll admit it, but still, human.” The vampire scrunches his face up momentarily. “The question is do I need a human?”

“Don’t be so soft, he’s a good fighter as you’ve just seen.” The man says defending and exaggerating Rafe’s ability. If he was such a good fighter, why would he want to get rid of him so badly? “And he’s got so much more untapped ability, with a little more work he could be something special.”

“He’s got potential, that much is obvious, but I’m not talking about him for the gambling circuit – let’s talk about this somewhere more private, yeah?” The vampire muses, pursing his lips together thoughtfully. Vladimir opens the cage door. Lifting up his arm, he sinks his teeth into his wrist. Letting the blood drip down, he fills a small glass. “To the victor goes the spoils. Good job, I had my doubts but you certainly came through in the end.”

Rafe slowly stumbles forward and picks up the glass. Eying the blood with hungry desire. Feeling sick to my stomach I walk towards the cage. “You shouldn’t be here.” He mumbles without looking at me.

4.6.17

“Neither should you, I mean just look at yourself. You won but at what cost?” I plead with him hoping he’ll see logic. “And you can’t drink that stuff.” A drop of the potent blood runs down the side of the cup, alluringly. V… A powerful medicine and narcotic. His wounds would heal over in a matter of seconds, but he would be drunk off of the stuff. In ecstasy, and it would seem worth it to him, until the withdrawals started. And then, it would just be a continuous loop.

“Why not?” Rafe sighs shooting me daggers with his eyes. Questioning me with his gaze. “This will cover the cost and then some, so leave it. I won my match so let me enjoy it.”

“What is this? Dutch courage, Rafe? Ten bucks says you don’t have it in you, to conquer fear and stop believing what they tell you too. Or you’ll live alone with your chemicals and booze.” I snap at him without remorse. I couldn’t handle it anymore. Couldn’t handle ignoring the fact he was wasting his life away. “This is just some scapegoat from reality. And being a coward isn’t a legitimate career.”

“Viv-“

“No, shut up. I’m going home. Without you. I can’t do this anymore.”

Advertisements

Authors note

I feel a little stupid cause I tried to schedule this and ended up publishing it on Monday instead of today >_< The joys of using my phone to do so, fortunately, I don’t think may of you saw it… I’m hoping so anyway

This is a side plot from the actual story line. And I thought long and hard about who was the most fitting couple for the Valentines special. And Calt and Bonnie seemed the only real choice (They’re still my favourite).

Instead of basing it in their generation, I decided to write it in present time. And I always felt like the big question during generation 2 was what would Balt do without Connie or when she got older, I decided to write about that. And I must admit that it’s not the typical lovey dovey Valentines day special that you’re probably expecting and used to. But I’m in love with their story so much, and even this, right here.

Don’t hate me x_x

*

Valentines.1

She took a quick sip of the clear liquid to steady herself. With a loud sigh she says, “You’re not suppose to be here, you know.” Her voice like soft velvet interrupted the silence of the room. Her shoulder length locks bob as she turns her head to see the intruder. A small, loving smile curving her painted lips. “It’s meant to be bad luck to see the bride before she walks down the aisle.”

“Ah, my dear. You’re stuck with me whether the luck be good or bad.” The man’s thick Scandinavian accent murmurs, almost sadly. He crosses the room in the blink of an eye, gently caressing her hand. “Assuming that you do actually say “I do” when you get up there that is.”

“Always… Balt, there was never any real doubt.” Her smile widens as she shakes her head playfully. “It was always you. I always loved you. I always will.”

Valentines.2 (2)

“I’m so glad that after all this time, you can still say that with absolute certainty. Even if… Even if this isn’t real.” Baltezhar whispers, almost as though no sound was coming out at all. Melancholy evident on all corners of his face. He squeezes her hand a bit tighter than before and lets go all together.

“Don’t look so sad. It’s meant to be a happy day, Elvira is gone and out of our lives. For good. No more torment or living in fear. We’re alive. And Aleksi, he’s alive too. We can be a family, finally…” Constance states encouragingly looking at her husband to be and the pain in his eyes. “Everything is okay. So smile.”

“More than okay, darling. Dance with me a moment?” Balt asks rhetorically, sweeping her up in his arms. And holding her tight against him, so that he can feel her heart beat against the nothingness that was his own. She was his heart, his humanity, his everything.

Valentines.4

“And the wedding?” She giggles, feeling weightless in his arms, as he just holds her. Swaying gently to the rhythm of the piano playing through the stereo. She couldn’t dance, but she lets him clumsily lets lead her around the room.

“Runaway with me.” He smirks devilishly. “Forget the wedding, I have you right here, right now. I couldn’t care less about those people, they only came for the free cake anyway.” Balt’s voice is soothing, calm, as he chides her. “Tell me you love me. Tell me you want me. That you need me.” One last time…

Valentine.3

“Balt…” She whispers, laying her head against his chest breathing in his scent. It was enough to make her feel breathless. His touch, his breath, all of it, all of him. “You were the only one that ever took my breath away. That made me feel… Something. And I don’t care how stupid, or cliché it is, but you’re the only one and I will always love you. For as long as I live, and as long as breath passes my lips, and my heart still beats. I will always need you, cause without you, I’m nothing. And I will always want you, cause you are all I could ever want and more. Balt, I love you. As simple as that.”

“Constance…” He whispers, his voice sounding rather choked and strangled. Balt dips her slowly, still speaking. “You look as beautiful as you were the day that I first met you. Your eyes sparkle just as much. Not a single line, or wrinkle, or anything will ever change that. You’re absolutely breath taking. And honestly, I… I don’t know what I’d ever do if I lost you. I just, can’t imagine, not even for a second my life without you in it. Sometimes… When I look at you, I can’t imagine you not being here. It scares me half to death to even think about it… And even if one day, when you’re old and grey, and can’t remember who I am, I’ll still be here. To tuck you into bed and tell you I love you. More than anything, forever. Cause heaven’s not a place you go when you die, it’s that moment in life, when I touch you and feel alive. You’re everything to me. I just…”

Valentines.5 (2)

“Shhh… Darling, I’m not going anywhere soon.” She breathes out, placing her lips upon his hungrily. This was the man she intended to spend the rest of her life with. Her happily ever after. ‘Even when I’m old and grey, I’ll love you more than anything else. Til the very end, I’m yours.”

“Maybe I’m greedy and selfish, but I don’t want this to ever end.” He mumbles weakly into her as she kisses him over and over. Maybe I don’t want to say goodbye. Maybe, just maybe, I want to hold onto you and never have to let go. “Maybe you’re all that I want, and all that I need. And Constance, don’t even for one second think that there’s a moment that goes by that you’re not on my mind.”

“Are you alright? You seem-“

valentines.6

“I’m fine…” Balt pulls away and sits on the edge of the bed. His eyes glued intently to the ground as though he didn’t want to speak or look at her. “Maybe, I didn’t say it enough, or… What if you don’t remember? A year from now, tomorrow, in five minutes? How long can you promise that you’re here? Actually here, with me? Connie, how long?”

“I don’t understand…” A flash of confusion across her face. Mixed emotions. Worry, fear, anger. Five minutes ago everything was perfect, and now… Balt was rambling incoherent nonsense.

“I keep thinking, that if I tell you these things, that you’ll always remember, and hold it with you. But if in five minutes, you don’t remember my face, then all of this was for nothing. And I need you to know that I’m scared.” Balt growls angrily into his hands. He could feel the anger in his stomach, clawing it’s way through his entire body and into his brain. The feeling was all consuming, and he despised the fact. “I know that I shouldn’t blame you, or be angry, but god damn it Connie. I hate the fact that I can’t fix this. You said forever and it was a lie. I just… I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.” His teeth clench together painfully, rubbing against each other with angry force.

valentines.7

“What are you talking about?” Constance questions a few octaves higher than before. He was scaring her. All this talk of not remembering him, how could she not? It was Balt, she could never forget him. “What do you see when you look at me? Balt I’m right here.” Her hands touch his shoulders gently.

“I see you… The real you.” A painful silence enters the room. He didn’t know what to say, not anymore, not since she got sick. It hurt more than he’d ever admit. When the person you’d give everything up for, doesn’t know who you are. When they hurt, and suffer. It killed him over and over again, every single time he looked at her. He could live with happily if she loved him, even hated him in an old memory relived, but when she forgot who he was altogether. And couldn’t remember his face. No emotion in her eyes whether love or hate or even knowing. That’s what hurt the most.

“What’s going on? Are you have second thoug-“

“Never… I could never regret this day in my entire life.” He interrupts her without a second thought. He could never regret her, not ever. Despite everything that had happened, choosing her, marrying her, was one of the only decisions in his entire life that he had never second guessed or doubted. Not even now.

valentines.8

Connie wraps her arms around his waist and clutches his chest for comfort. Her head rests exhaustedly across his back, as she closes her eyes for just a moment of peace. The day had already taken a lot out of her, she felt ragged and weak. Although it mustn’t be passed noon. Groggily she looks at the time of her cracked watch.

03.47am

The time must be wrong, and the watch too slow. The wedding, she thinks, 8pm at night. She couldn’t have missed it already. But why was Balt here? It was bad luck to see her in her wedding dress before the right time. Not until she opened the doors to the chapel, and walked down the aisle to meet him. After everything they had been through, they didn’t need any more bad luck.

“Balt-“

“Shhh, just lie with me.” He whispers pulling her into his arms and lying her down beside him. In this position with his eyes closed, and in complete silence, he could make believe that everything was going to be okay. And she was okay. But only ever for a moment, before horrible reality broke down the parallel image of perfection.

valentines.9

In his world of make believe, she was happy and healthy. Breathing lightly beside him, with a soft, and lively heartbeat. A warm body, sleepily sprawled across his own. Her grip would tighten on his, pulling themselves closer together. And with a yawn, she’d waken. Blink a few times, before resettling herself. Turning to face each other, her legs wrapped around his. Her soft, enchanting giggle would fill the room as he kisses her nose. It would scrunch up slightly, his lips tickling the skin. Brushing the hair out of her eyes, he’d tell her she was beautiful.

In the fake, imaginary reality, she’d whisper, her voice no more than a quiet moan, that she loves him.

But in that real, cold hearted reality, she does wake up. With a question burning on her lips as she pulls away in fright. “Who are you?!?”

3.5.1

I fidget with the hem of my dress, as Lucian stands in the door way. Cocking my head slightly, I look up at him hiding behind my hair. I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt after seeing him like that. But right now, without a word of doubt it was still Lucian. Human as ever. Other than his blue eyes, there was nothing that remained of that creature this morning. The sun was up, and he was officially himself again.

He drags his hand through his messy hair. Offering no words, he waits for me to speak first. I sigh loudly, and place both hands on my hips. “What am I going to do with you?” I shake my head with a small smile.

“Lock me in a cage for all eternity?” Lucian scrunches his face up playfully, and clutches his chest feigning hurt. Taking steps across the bathroom to sit on the bench in front of me. I slap his chest lightly with a soft giggle. “Or just love me anyway, I mean… I’m still me.”

3.5.2

“I know, Lucian, I know.” I whisper, laying my head on his chest and squeezing my body between his legs so I can rest against him more comfortably. “I just wish I knew, that’s all. I feel so bad. This whole time, you’ve had to hide this secret from me, and why? Cause I might hate you for it? Oh Luc, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, honestly.” He wraps his arms around me, cradling me against him. “Silly pack laws from a long time ago. Ya know, don’t reveal your true self to outsiders. But… You’re not an outsider, you’re you. And besides, vampires were under that law for quite some time. And now? They’re plastered all over the news, every single day. Some rules are meant to be broken, and that one’s stupid.”

“It’s just so much to come to terms with.” I turn my body, so my back rests against him. I can feel his hot breath on the nape of my neck. “Tell me… Lycan’s? Full moons? Packs?”

3.5.3

Lucian laughs softly in my ear. “Hollywood has got it a little wrong about us. Some points can’t be contested, by we’re not animals… I mean… Err… Last night was my first transformation, and the full moon offers us an indescribable amount of power. I had no control over anything that was going on. I was merely an observer at the most, although I blackouted for the majority of it. I was just a slave to my deepest, darkest instincts.” My hand gently squeezes his as he tightly holds me against him for a moment. “But my dad… You saw him. He was in complete control of what he was doing. Mature wolves, the older ones who are more skilled with transformation can learn to control it. When they turn, what they do with it, even to refuse the full moon.”

“He can turn at will?” I ask without much thought. Completely captivated by his words, and the fear, so far buried within me. I didn’t fear him, I couldn’t. Right now, at least, he was human, or partly so.

“Yeah, he mostly turns on the full moon to control the new pups from getting to unruly though. Ya see, he’s the alpha, the leader. And even when we have no control, he is still our alpha, he controls us.” Lucian explains drumming his fingers along my wrist. “The only reason I resisted ya, was cause of him. And… And ya said my name… I’m not sure if you were even aware ya said it… But… It snapped me back to reality for just a second to realize what was happening.”

I pull away from him and pace around the small room. So, Lucian is a Lycan. Now what? Now nothing, it’s him. Nothing’s changed. Sure he almost killed me, but… That’s only once a month, and he can learn to control it. He doesn’t have to do it…. What am I thinking, I pause midstride. I didn’t get to choose the parts of Lucian I loved and desired. It was all of him or nothing. He’s a Lycan. But he’s still the same guy. I can’t change him, and I won’t. Maybe this was what he was scared of. That I wouldn’t accept him. But… It’s still him.

3.5.4

“And Rafe has gotten himself into an ungodly amount of trouble hasn’t he?” I say quickly, changing the subject. I didn’t want to think about what I would think of Lucian next full moon or the next. But right now, despite how wrong and cruel it seemed, he was still my Lucian. I would be okay with it, I think, in time. When the memories weren’t so fresh.

“Yeah.” He swings off of the counter in one fluid motion without much elaboration. I pout angrily, as it seems that’s all he will say on the subject. But I can’t just leave it at that.

“Well?” I pry further, blocking his exit from the room. “He’s my brother… I… I need to know whatever trouble he’s gotten himself into. I can’t help him, unless I know.”

“Ya can’t help him.” Lucian shrugs nonchalantly. After a few seconds he notices the pained look on my face. “Hey, hey shhh. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that… He’s made his decisions, and I know this is hard to accept, but ya can’t sway his mind. He’s a stubborn little brat sometimes-“

“Maybe I can’t help him, maybe I can. I don’t know, but if there’s something wrong, it affects me too.” I scowl at him, watching him grow amused by the second. “So tell me.”

3.5.5

“Rafe… He’s a feisty thing that boy.” Lucian says dazed off from the conversation. “I’m not sure exactly where to start… Dogfights! have you heard of them? Of course not… Wolves sometimes, mostly the young pups, or the ones hopped up on V, have little competitions. Usually based around the gambling circuits. They pin two against each other, place bets, and then whoever wins… Well you can guess. But the losers… Enter Rafe.”

“What!?!” No, no no. His stories were just getting crazier by the second. But… The claw marks, the bites… It made sense. Well, more sense than the other options that I had right now.

“Vi, you look a little pale…” Lucian says softly, stepping closer to me. I can feel the warmth of his body, and his breath. His heart beat even. And that’s when I decide to do it. I can’t bear it anymore. My hand lifts up swiftly, and moves to slap him. But he’s too quick, and catches it inches from his face without even blinking. With a slight nudge, he pulls me forward, knocking against him.

3.5.6

My hand shakily touches the side of his face. Gently caressing it without a word. I can’t speak, embarrassment burns my cheeks and stains them red. Lucian’s hands move from mine, and entwine around me. Pinning me against him. My breath comes out ragged against him, as a nervous knot in my belly arises. I feel like I can’t breath now. And not because of his tight grip.

Both of his hands run up my side, before tangling them in my hair. My stomach does flips as he pulls me in closer. Dizziness dances across my vision, fading everything else out but him. I feel shaky, and weak. His grip may as well be the only thing holding me up. My legs are like jelly. I run my hands down his neck and to his chest. Lucian eyes me softly before his eyes shut tight.

 3.5.7

His skin, and his pulse dance like electricity across mine as time seems to stop altogether. A single second feels like hours, as our lips move slowly to each other. Like a moth to a flame. And my mind is just a jumbled mess, thoughts endlessly swirling around. Lucian pushes me against the door, with a smile less than an inch from mine. My face in his hands.

“Oi, Lucian, we need to talk.” Rafe’s all to familiar voice sounds behind the door. Disappointment stings my eyes as Lucian pulls away gruffly. “Now!”

*

The months passed rather quickly after that day. Full moons were an odd time for us all. I could tell that Lucian was struggling with what he was, as much as I was pretending I wasn’t. The transformations were painful, excruciating even. Of course, because I wasn’t a wolf, I didn’t understand it as well as him. But all his bones would break, and twist and morph into that thing. That beast.

3.5.8

And control wasn’t something that came easy to him. The hunger usually won. And it terrified him. What if he couldn’t stop one day? What if he never learnt to control it? Would he be stuck in suffering and death forever? I didn’t know, but he was strong, and determined. And the one thing I knew about Lucian more than anything was that he never gave up, and this would not be an exception.

As for me, I often had nightmares about that night when he had almost attacked me. But the frequencies were getting less and less. I just had to keep reminding myself that it was Lucian. Wolf or no wolf. That would not change. It was hard, this was something that had blindsided me, and shaken up everything I believed in.

The problems with Rafe were growing bigger and bigger by the week. He could get himself killed by getting involved with these fights… He was an idiot, and with a death wish. Every time he left the house I felt like it would be the last time I would ever see him. He was fighting Lycans… And he was human. How he was managing not to get himself murdered at all was beyond me. He didn’t stop the snowball that this issue was becoming. More and more he’d return home drunk, or stoned, or something rather.

3.5.9

I don’t even think he really attempted school anymore either. Rafe went for lunch, and to sleep off hangovers. The girls were also a plus for him. Although he never went near Selene again since she had confronted me about being an orphan. But he went through the others like they were going out of style. One of the girls that stuck around though, was Angelique. She never came back to the house again after that day, but she was one of the girls that never left. That could always be because he must be her prized fighter or something stupid and ridiculous.

I could see her hold on him from a mile away, it was obvious. To everyone but Rafe at least. Or maybe, he enjoyed it. It was just a part in their game. Their blood sport.

Rafe was only fifteen and his life was spiralling downwards. And fast.

When I wasn’t at school, or with Lucian. I watched the news. Read the papers. It was like a torture I couldn’t escape though. Like I needed the hurt. I just couldn’t stop. And the vampires, they couldn’t either.

More and more towns invaded. Children taken. Families broken. The latest report was about a vampire who broke into a hotel where a school was staying overnight. All of them. Every last one, drained, completely dry. Dead and gone. The youngest was six. I can see the faces of the parents of the slain children on TV. Begging for their babies to come home. To see them one last time and tell them that they love them.

2.5.3.7

What would turn something. A vampire. Someone that was once human into such a demon. A blood thirsty, insatiable killing machine. It didn’t make sense. They were human. And then what? Sure, they weren’t human anymore by blood, but why would that remove all humanity from these things. How could something that was once so human and innocent, become that? A killer.

I watch the flickering pictures across the screen with worry gnawing at my belly. And even though there were no reports of vampire attacks in this region. Surely, this wasn’t some Bermuda triangle where no vampires could enter. No magical wards that kept them out. Or overgrown garlic fields. I scratch my head, and lean back against the couch pondering the thought.

Huttser was always watching the vampire situation carefully. Tracking their movements, and close to us they would openly hunt. It seemed like something that was from a poorly scripted horror movie, our land, their land. But it’s what it seemed like, even though it was a foolish thought.

Footsteps

3.5.10

“I’m…. I’m going to town. See you later.” Rafe mumbles quickly darting for the door before I can say anything. But he’s a fool. I make a move for the door, leaping from the couch, and cutting him off. This was my chance to confront him, and figure things out. Although I was never good at thinking on my feet.

“Good, you can come with me.” I state matter of factly, an idea popping into my mind. With a winning smile I think to myself that he won’t risk getting caught doing whatever stupid things he was planning if I’m with him. “I need to buy a few things, and if you’re going, I might as well come. That won’t be a problem will it?”

“Of course not.” He grins and bears it. Like a pathological liar, pretending it didn’t matter at all. But his heart beat quickens the second my mouth opened. And he knows what I’m doing, but can’t sop it. I’ve won this round I think victoriously.

The ride into town is awkward, neither one of us wanting to speak first. I swear, if eyes could kill, the way his eyes glared into the back of my head. I wasn’t wanted, but here I was. But, this to me, is the only way to stop him doing something stupid and reckless and utterly idiotic. I’d tried talking to him, pleading, begging, everything. Maybe if I was watching over him more he’d stop and think about things a bit more.

“I’m just gonna… I’ll be back later.” Rafe sighs as we enter the town square, quickly ditching and leaving me to my own devices. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. K?”3.5.11

“Rafe…” I call after him as I’m abandoned surrounded by complete strangers. But after his shadow disappears into the crowd, I soon come to terms with the fact that I’m alone. Okay, so I hadn’t won this round… Yet. But I would. So my being here didn’t make him hesitate, but just feel uneasy. Progress for the fact I had learnt something. It wasn’t over yet.

I walk around a few of the stalls for a little while. Browsing through the beautiful dresses, and ornaments to be hung from a pretty lady’s neck. But there’s nothing I want or need. I just wander aimlessly trying to waste time til Rafe came back to me. Except I was never the kind of girl that shopping appealed to. Instead I’m preoccupied with a strange feeling. I can’t pin point it exactly, but it’s there, nagging me endlessly.

It isn’t til I’ve turned the corner that I find that cause of it.

3.5.12

The man leans against the wall, his eyes closed shut as the people pass him by. Even though the day is hot, his skin is covered by a long jacket, and pants, and gloves. And there’s nothing, no beating of a familiar heart nothing. I should hear something, but I can’t. My breath catches in my throat as I pause quietly observing him. Something about him drew me to him, lured me. Maybe it was the fear or the danger, but there was something about him.

I creep closer, not even fully aware of my actions. I drag my eyes up and down him, before stopping over his now open eyes. “What? Have you not seen real vampire before, little one?” A man with a thick Russian accent asks crossing the distance to the edge of the shadows and in front of me in lightning speed. Apart from his strange, glowing eyes, he seems normal. Grey hair combed back revealing twinkling blue eyes. And a face that could melt a weaker woman’s heart in one gaze.

3.5.13

“So openly? No.” I respond half afraid of the creature as he runs his finger up and down the shadow barrier that protects him. “Only on the news, and those stories aren’t the nicest.”

“We’re not all bad.” He responds with a cheeky smirk. “Not all the time anyway. Sometimes I play good, but I can be a very naughty boy when I want to be.” My cheeks flush with embarrassment, which only seems to amuse him. My heart beats erratically and forcefully, racing throughout my entire body.

“What are you doing here?” I glare at the ground ignoring his penetrating gaze that felt all consuming. I gulp loudly, trying to distract myself from the uncomfortable, awkward feeling I was getting.

“I’m a procurer so to speak.” I gasp slightly, and not as subtlety I would have hoped for. The man scoffs lightly with a shake of his head. “Not all of us are blessed with the good fortune of choice my dear. I only choose to embrace what little luck I have.”

“Why though? You’re still… Human aren’t you? Don’t you feel… Anything?” I ask in a quiet almost embarrassed voice. He eyes me bemused by the thought. A sarcastic, almost patronising smile towering over me as he leans in as close as the sun will let him. His musky scent envelops me and drowns me in thoughts of him. It was intoxicating, almost.

3.5.14

“One thing you must understand about me and my vampire counter parts is that we are in fact dead. And my dear that rids me of those unfortunate human emotions that plague you when you’re not looking.” He shrugs with a smile still plastered on his face. “Are you in fact surprised by this answer?”

“N.. No-”

“Then smile, little one, cause I must be as typical as it gets. I’m Vladimir by the way.” He offers his hand out to me to shake. I think about it for a moment. It would be rude to decline. Wouldn’t it? Besides, we’re surrounded by people, he wouldn’t be dumb enough to try anything. It was just a hand shake “And you… Are just exquisite.” He breathes out.

3.5.15

“Well then, Vladimir, may I ask what exactly you’re procuring?” I feel my fear soften a little as he gently squeezes my hand. But I ignore his last comment, as my dulled fear nibbles at my gut. Butterfly’s nervously take flight within me as he give me a light tug, pulling me into the shadows with him. He growls relinquishing my hand in a swift, fluid motion.

“Wolves my dear.”

3.5.16

Author’s note

Sorry for the delay with the chapter. I was busy over the weekend, and have been sick all week. Plus that with suddenly deciding I want, no need, to write a chapter I won’t need til like chapter 20 of the generation, I have been a little distracted.

And then I lost Huttser while taking photos for this chapter. How do you lose a sim? I have no idea. But I lost him and have no idea where the original actually disappeared to. But I got a copy of him from the sim bin to use (thankfully), and was able to finish the chapter.

But hopefully, despite the long wait, and the fact I’m a little delirious this chapter came out okay. Tell me what you think 🙂

*

4.4.1

As my eyes pry apart in the morning, every part of me hurts. The ground had been uncomfortable. And the previous days events had taken a lot out of me. Physically and emotionally I’m wrecked and exhausted. I feel completely weak, enough so that it takes a few attempts to get to my shaky legs.

My vision fades out momentarily, as an aching throb in my head blinds me. I yawn with a groan as I assess my condition. Dirty, and with a thousand tiny cuts and bruises. Even a few puncture holes on my wrist and neck, quite probably from the bugs. It’s past noon by the looks of the sun and shadows. I never came home last night, I think anxiously and panicked. I’m so dead when I get home. How could I be so stupid?

I crane my head around. Trying to find my bearings. That rock looks familiar. Or maybe that tree. Or… No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. I had come that way last night, I remember tripping over that rock… Or maybe it was that one. No, it was that one. Wasn’t it?

I groan, and hopelessly pick a direction to storm off in. Desperately looking for any sign of my passing. I had to come from somewhere, I didn’t just appear there. There was a way home. I just don’t know which way that is.

4.4.2

After a few hours of panicked, fearful stumbling, I come to the conclusion that I am in fact lost. I sigh, and soak my teary eyes. “I wanna go home.” I mumble scared. Never had I ever been away from home for more than a night. And if I did, I always came home bright and early the next day. But where is home? Home was safe, and happiness. Where nothing bad could get me. They say home is where the heart is. By saying that, home was Rafe, and Huttser and Salamae. Home was wherever Lucian was.

After clawing my way back to my feet, I continue on my way with renewed vigour. The second I got home, I would slap Rafe and force him to tell me what trouble he had gotten himself into. And then I would punch Lucian for being an idiot, and fall into his arms cause it was the safest place to be.

By the time my feet are aching and painful to the touch, it’s already late afternoon. The sun would begin its descent within the hour, and if I didn’t get home by then, I face another night alone in the woods.

Alone… I don’t wanna be alone. I take back everything I had thought and did last night. Sure I had been upset, but two is better than one. Always better than one, and I don’t wanna be alone. Not without…. No, me and Lucian were only friends. But even then, he was still my best friend, and I don’t wanna be without him.

*

By the time the sun had begun its descent, Lucian was already on Vivian’s trail. He had picked it up by the river, and had followed it far and deep into the woods. Although he had lost her scent several times, he never gave up. There was too much to risk. And too much to lose.

4.4.3

Why had she gone this way? Did she simply get lost? Or was there something much more sinister going on? Lucian could feel the worry deepen. The moon was coming. And he could feel it’s presence weighing heavily on him. His instincts were getting sharper, and a distinct, animalistic restlessness coursing throughout his entire being.

Tonight was the night. His first transformation. The night he would join his father, and his father’s father before him and so forth. Tonight he would join the moon. He would become one with his ancestors legacy and the animal within.

And although he knew what was coming. It terrified him through and through. His whole body would change, and his bones would break to form the beast he was to become. All self control would be lost, and there would be nothing of his true self left to remain. Maybe in time he could grow to control it. But in a few hours, he would become one with the hunters.

And if he hadn’t found Vivian by then…. No, he didn’t want to imagine that.

*

4.4.4

I gaze up at the rising moon with fear and doubt. How had I gotten here? I knew this land like the back of my hand. And I surely couldn’t have walked this far in my emotional wreck of a state last night. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But I just wanna go home.

I’m distracted by a pang of fear as I hear shuffling and noises from the bushes not to far from me. My breath catches in my throat as I turn to face it. My eyes hopelessly searching for any glimpse of an attacker. My foot slowly and unsteadily takes a small step back as the noise grows louder and gets closer.

The silhouette of a man steps from the tree line, growling under its breath. The hairs on the back of my neck raise as a cold chill engulfs me. Trembling becomes evident as I cower down slightly. “Vivian…?”

Almost without thinking, as though a completely involuntary action, I run to the voice that not a second ago had me terrified. But I would be lying if I said that any logical doubt had crossed my mind. It was him… And that’s all that matters.

4.4.5

I collide forcefully with Lucian in a tangled mess. Wrapping my arms so tightly around him, as though if I let go I would never again see him. Tomorrow I would be angry but right now, nothing else matters. He gently relinquishes me, taking a step back. “We… We should go.” He coughs out huskily. “We should go now.”

I follow behind him, trying to desperately keep up with his wild pace. And even though I’m not sure why the rush is so important. I don’t voice my confusion. It could wait. Along with all the other questions I need answers to. I grip his hand tightly and he grips mine back tighter. This contact is all I need to still my racing heart, and fearful gaze.

“I’m so sorry Viv…” He mumbles between breaths as we continue on our way. “There’s just so much I want to tell you. But I d… Don’t know how. Or whether I can. I’m sorry, this is all my fault. I’m an… An idiot. I know that. I j.. Just can’t risk l… Lo… Losing you.”

“Lucian-“

4.4.6

“D… D.. Don’t say any…Th… Thing.” He groans pulling me into his arms and us to a stop. His skin is hot and clammy, and I can feel his heart beat forcefully against my chest. His racing pulse in his neck. “I..  I love y.. You Viv, and I’m s… Sor… Sorry. Shhhh….” Lucian whispers into my ear, in a low and husky tone. Holding me gently, despite my few protests. His hands move from my back, and softly caress my face. “F.. F…. Fol.. Low the riv… River home, and w… What… Ever you h… Hear d… D… Don’t look b… Back. Pro.. Promise me th… That y… You won’t l… L… Look back and y… You’ll k… Keep walking… N.. No matter w.. What…”

“Luc..?” I mumble, while his eyes frantically search mine. There was something very wrong with this. He was saying goodbye… Why was he telling me goodbye? The hairs on the back of my neck and on my arms stand up as a cold chill runs down my spine and tears prick at my eyes.

“Pr… Promise.” He growls under his breath, holding my gaze with strange fear and determination. Despite being utterly confused, and scared. There’s something about the way in which he holds me, and the way he speaks that tells me I don’t really have a choice.

 4.4.7

“I… I promise. I won’t stop til I reach home, and I won’t look back.” My head nods resolutely as his hands shakily fall back to his own body. I unconsciously reach back for his hands as a means to soothe my erratic heart beat. “Keep walking, don’t look back.” I repeat to myself. “I’m scared…”

“G… Go…” Lucian kisses my forehead, pushing me away from him. We both look up at the glow of the full moon. It’s eerie silhouette shines down on us, lighting up the dark path ahead. The one I would have to walk alone. I take a small step backwards, followed by another one. So badly I want to tell him I love him back, but I can’t. I can’t even say goodbye. Maybe cause I don’t know why this is the end, or what’s going on. But I can’t say anything, and I hate that. All I can do is leave and run away.

4.4.8

And I do exactly what he says. I keep walking, stumbling occasionally on various stones and branches as I follow the river back home. I don’t stop, no matter how forced and laboured my breath comes out. And no looking back. Regardless of the sounds that surround me and take my breath away in a panic. Howling, and growling. Footsteps, and breathing. Endless paranoia haunts me.

The sounds, they creep closer. Every second, every step. Closer and closer it gets. The feeling that I’m not alone only grows stronger and stronger. Picking up the pace, I try and escape it. Try to out speed it, but it’s not enough. The ever growing presence feels suffocating, and smothering. Keep walking, don’t look back… My senses grow hyper aware, trying to assess where any possible danger could come from. My heart thuds almost painfully as it races. I’m almost positive that whatever is out there stalking me, can hear it.

4.4.9

My hands shakily reach up to protect me as I tumble to the ground. I feel tears soak my cheeks, and slowly drip down onto the dirt below me. Why couldn’t I be stronger? In a perfect world I would have forced Lucian to tell me what was happening, and why he had left me in the woods again. He had come back for me, and then he had left me again. In a perfect world I’d be brave, and fearless…

The dirt beneath my fingers is dug up as I claw at the ground trying to steady my breath. There’s nothing there, I think to myself in attempt to rid myself of the almost paralysing fear. A stick snaps behind me. A spike of adrenaline courses through my veins, like a kick in the guts. Time seems to tick by slower. Every sound to be analysed fully by my anxious mind.

A low growl slowly sounds from in front of me. My head snaps up, and eyes fall on a monstrous shape. It’s large almost human shape, covered in a thick, course dark red fur. Large, sharp, inhuman teeth bare fiercely at me, as I stumble backwards. It takes a step towards me. Large claws inching closer and closer. And it’s like I can’t take a breath or think clearly.

4.4.10

The beast lets loose another inhuman roar from it’s throat. Curling it’s lips back fiercely as I find my feet and take a slow step backwards. But it matches me step for step with a hunger in it’s eyes, and movements. There’s nowhere I can run, without it following me, I think helplessly. This is it.

“Lucian…” I moan into my hands as I try to take another step back. I open my tightly shut eyes for a split second to look at it’s eyes. Resistance hides in the corners of its almost familiar blue eyes. But all I see, all I feel, is its thirst for blood and carnage. It’s desire for me…

4.4.11

I hear a loud howl behind me, sending my frantic heart into another desperate panic. There was no escape. It’s claws reach across my shoulder, pulling me closer towards it. But I can’t fight. Once again, I can’t do anything. The second creatures hand is hot, and it’s claws are cold across my back. It doesn’t let me go til I’m firmly behind it.

“Shhhhhrrrrr.” It growls to me, without taking it’s eyes off of the smaller beast. “Vivvvvv rruunnn.” I pause as it says my name. How did it know it? The first creature hisses at me, and takes another step forward, flashing another toothy smile at us both. “Go homme grrrrrr…” It spits out.

4.4.12

 And once again, like a good little girl. I turn and I run. Don’t look back… I run til my feet ache, and I can hardly breath. Don’t stop til you get home… Even when the lights of the town come into view I don’t stop. I just run. No thinking. No remembering. Nothing. Only the sound of my feet hitting the grass below me. The rain dripping down. The silence of the moonlight.

Except the one thing that will not leave my mind is the sound of the two beasts. As though they were seconds from ripping each other apart as  left. The bigger one, it knew my name, it was fighting for me to get home. Don’t think about it. Go home.

*

I slowly rouse from my sleep to the sound of shouting. “Lucian, how could you be so stupid! You could have killed her! Why would you not come to me?” Huttser growls angrily to Lucian in the other room. I dizzily curl into a ball, trying to regain my memory.

“Because I knew ya’d react like this! I left her out there, I felt bad enough without ya laying on the guilt trip.” He replies coldly and without much emotion.

“And if I hadn’t of picked up her scent, and yours? Son… This isn’t something that you can just play off-“

4.4.13

“Ya know what?! This happened because of our stupid little rules. No outsiders can know what we are? Well guess what dad, we can’t hide it. The vamps know exactly what we are already, it’s not a secret anymore, and her… I can’t lie to her.”  I can imagine that Lucian would be scowling a devilish amount right now. Although I could see where Huttser was coming from, why did Lucian have to pretend that this wasn’t who he was?

“This isn’t MY fault, boy! Don’t even think about trying to pin all this on me.” Huttser’s voice raises again, before he tries to lower it. I’d only ever seen him this angry when people went out on the full moon, or when the topics turned to vampires. Bu this was something else. “Maybe this silly little infatuation has proved to be too dangerous for the both of you.”

“Dad-“

“No, Lucian. You’re going to be alpha someday, and at some point, you have to grow up.” I can feel the bitterness and silence seeping through the crack in the door from the other room. This was a touchy subject on both parts. Footsteps come up the hallway softly. “And don’t you say anything Salamae…”

“Look, both of you, a lot could have happened tonight. But it didn’t.” Her voice is soft, and gentle. Soothing the situation quietly. “Huttser, nothing happened, there’s no use scaring him silly of what could of happened. It didn’t. Vivian is okay. And how long do you think we could hide the fact of what we are from her? Aye? She’s a smart girl, so is Rafe, it’s not like when they were kids anymore. Obviously, this isn’t the way I would’ve chosen to reveal our true selves, but what’s done is done. No use moaning about it now.”

4.4.14

“Mae…” Huttser says quietly. Shame in his voice. I sit up in bed and try to listen in better.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.” She tuts him. “One of us has to keep a cool head. And you… Lucian, you don’t get let off that easily either. We are your parents, if there is an issue, I want you to come to one of us. There isn’t anything that you can’t say or ask of us. This situation could have been resolved a lot easier if you had of trusted us enough to tell us what was going on. And I hope you know just how bad it could have gone if your dad wasn’t there.”

“I’m not as dumb as HE gives me credit for. I know exactly what I could have lost.” Lucian states, the fire and venom still in his voice.

“Now there’s a girl in there, probably scared half to death of what she saw tonight. Do you think that your time is best spent arguing in the hallway? Or with her?” Salamae continues, still telling both of them off. What had I seen tonight? I know what I saw, but what was it?

A few minutes pass in silence. Shuffling can be heard up the hallway and a door shutting quietly behind it. I sigh, and bury my face into my knees and just breath. I wasn’t sure what I had seen tonight, but whatever it was, wasn’t human. Yet, it wasn’t entirely evil. The second thing that had come, it had protected me.

4.4.15

The door opens, and before I can escape, Lucian has me in his arms. “Viv… I’m so sorry. That wasn’t me, I would never… Oh god…. Please, Viv? I’m sorry. I know that means nothing now, but…. I’m not that… That thing… that thing isn’t me. And, I’m not gon lie, I felt what it felt. Hunger… But, I would never, EVER hurt you. Viv? Please say something.” He doesn’t need to elaborate, I know exactly what he’s saying.

“What are you?” I croak out, feeling a self loathing feeling from the serenity that his arms still offered. I so badly want to hate him for it. But I can’t. It was still Lucian, it was still him. And the words struggle to come out of my mouth, I want to make believe these last two days never happened. But I have to know.

4.4.16

I walk over to the window, and place my hands over the glass. Shutting my eyes, I wait for an answer. Lucian clears his throat and lies down on the bed. “What am I…? I’m… I’m a Lycan.”

“A Lycan?” I turn around to face him. My hands fidget behind my back, as I watch his face assessing me anxiously. Tonight, without exaggeration, was one of the worst of my life. But that was when I thought I’d lost him. When I thought I was going to die. And now, Lucian was without a doubt, still himself. There was no remnants of that beast. it was him.

“Yes.. A Lycan.” He says after some time.

4.4.17

I feel a nervous giggle escape my lips, as I eye him incredulously. “I guess I should have seen it sooner. I mean, every full moon you all just disappear off into the woods… God, you didn’t even make it hard for me. It’s all making sense right now, and wow, I’m an idiot.”

“What are you doing…?” Lucian groans as my laughter gets louder.

“Luc, I don’t know if you know this or not, but you almost killed me tonight.” I say stepping closer to him. “But if there was anything that I ever did, you know to you, to make you think that you couldn’t tell me this. I’m so sorry. I mean, EVERY full moon. Every month, every year. Every month…” I start giggling again.

“You are quite obviously sleep deprived, and feeling full moon madness.” He rolls his eyes, pulling me onto the bed. “I mean I almost killed you tonight, and you’re giggling like a school girl. I do not get you woman at all.”

4.4.18

“Tomorrow, it’ll probably hit me, and I’m going to need answers then. But right now..” I whisper crawling into his lap, feeling his arms wrap around me. “Right now, I just want you to hold me, and tell me everything will be alright.”

“Everything will always be okay, Viv, as long as we have each other.” Lucian whispers stroking my hair. “As long as I have you.”